coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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