She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the day after is always just damage control
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
