dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
