Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
