first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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