so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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