uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
