I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
