I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
