Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
