But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
