I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
