id be glad to
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
