this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
