ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
