i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
smell my finger.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
