Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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