afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
