It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
