No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
