I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
tell me about the fingering
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
