is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
