i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
