At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
