what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
