What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
