We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
