Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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