I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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