I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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