OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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