I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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