I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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