Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
a search helicopter?!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
