come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize