It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
