I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
