wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
