Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When did angry sex become our thing?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize