listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
