i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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