For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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