i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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