how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize