Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
