Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
