Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
