Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
