frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
