Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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