and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
