Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
