We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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