my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
this will be a night to untag.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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