I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
