you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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