i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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