At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
