So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
