I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
