I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize