Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize