This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
