She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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