were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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