i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
