you turned your livingroom into a bong?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
