Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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