I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This is not my ceiling
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Your penis caused this!
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